


X5-99

by Goths_and_Roses



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Barely Legal, Building trust, Canon-Typical Violence, Deacon youre an idiot, Does her fear of ghouls count as ptsd?, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Institute courser, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, feral ghouls, im tagging it anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:34:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8367292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goths_and_Roses/pseuds/Goths_and_Roses
Summary: Against his better judgment, Deacon saves an escaped courser.





	1. This is a really bad idea.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I've never written from Deacon's perspective. This is an alternate universe where Belle ends up with Dance after Blind Betrayal instead of chasing Deacon. Please be gentle with my little synthetic baby, she's one of my favourites.

Cold. Wet. Feelings she didn't get to experience before. Before when? Where had she come from? How did she get here. X5-99's head buzzed with questions as she dragged her feet along the broken, burned gravel of Lexington. The rain fell heavy and loud, splashing in little droplets off of her thick leather coat. The Courser's mousy hair felt heavy, weighed down by the water saturating through its wavy tresses. How long had she been walking? A day maybe? No, it must have been longer. If only the sun would show its face between these God forsaken clouds, she'd be able to tell. 

A noise. A growl? Or is that more of a snarl? She wasn't sure, but before she had chance to analyse the sound, it's owner staggered out of a broken building to her right and her steel eyes snapped over, fixing on the sight of a ghoul. It's flesh mangled and peeling, seemingly burned from the radiation. She froze and reached for her weapon. A standard issue Institute laser rifle. Not that she could remember where she got it, or even why she knew how to fire it with pinpoint precision at the disgusting creature's head. X5-99 would have recoiled at the sight of it's head breaking off from the neck, and the sight of both decapitated corpse and head turning into fine blue dust that then sat smoldering in the floor. At least, if she felt anything in that moment, but she didn't. 

Too busy wondering why she had this weapon, why she had been able to fire it so accurately, and where it came from, the courser was barely able to register the sounds of several more ghouls appearing from nearby alcoves and holes. They crawled out from dumpster and under destroyed cars like filthy maggots and stumbled her way, in a seemingly single-minded horde. Instinctively, she reached for her belt, gloved fingers finding a cylindrical item and quickly throwing it at the group, watching a bright light burst forth as body parts and blood exploded out with the hot plasma, killing some of the ghouls and maiming others. But it wasn't enough, several managed to escape serious injury and lunged at her. The way the fell over themselves would have been comical had they not managed to attach their bony, flaking hands to her arms and legs, effectively pulling her to the ground. 

~*~ 

X5-99 still couldn't fathom how she had escaped with her life, or how so many irradiated monstrosities could appear from seemingly nowhere as she limped through the streets toward a collapsed highway. As she dragged her crippled and bloodied ankle behind her, she caught sight of a man in the distance, which wasn't difficult as his bright white t-shirt stood out a mile in the dull air. It's a wonder he isn't being shot at right now.  
Deciding to watch the man, X5-99 pressed herself small against a nearby wall, peering around the corner to observe the man. Just as she looked, she noticed to her slight disappointment that he had vanished. Except he hadn't. A few minutes later and man of similar size and build emerged from behind the doors to the Super-Duper Mart, only difference being, well, everything. The previous man had no hair, blue jeans and sneakers to go with his blindingly white shirt. This one had black hair combed up into a strange quiff-type style, wore a black leather, darker jeans and boots. He also had a sniper rifle slung over his shoulders. Yet the one similarity was the sunglasses. An odd choice of apparel in this miserable weather. 

X5-99 had decided to follow the man, and crept out from her hiding place. Unfortunately she didn't count on the loss of blood from multiple Ghoul bites to make her feel light headed and dizzy, so when she wondered why the ground was coming up to greet her, it was too late, and she collapsed with a wet plop onto the rain soaked floor. 

~*~

Deacon had a habit of looking around with paranoia as he scrawled railsigns onto the walls of places he'd scoped out. And this time it served him well, for just as he looked up from drawing a chalky "Danger" sign on the wall of SD-mart, he glimpsed a blur of black leather and mousy hair falling to the ground, followed by a quiet, but audible to his trained ears, splash. At first he wanted to offer help to the stranger, but when he spotted the torn beyond repair, but still recognisable leather of a Courser's coat, his heart leapt into his throat. _'Shit'_ was this only word on his mind. He didn't care why it had been downed or how, all he cared about was that something had taken down a courser not more than ten feet from his location. If he hadnt have been so lucky, it could have come for him. 

Pushing up his glasses and taking aim with his rifle, Deacon crept around the Courser's body, still unsure if it yet lived. Maintaining a reasonable distance, he still isn't dare take his eyes off of the killer synth, just in case. He watched cautiously as he backed away, keeping the woman in his sights. _'Wait. A woman? A female courser? I mean why not, but c'mon. That's never happened before.'_ the railroad spy thought, just as the very woman in question began to raise her head, groaning in pain. 

This was bad. Very fucking bad. She was still alive, and that meant if Deacon didn't haul ass, that he most likely wouldn't be either. But something inside his stupid brain told him to go the opposite direction of away. 

This is a really bad idea.


	2. I'm With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> X5-99 goes with the mysterious man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosely inspired to write the next chapter after listening to Avril Lavigne's I'm With You.

The fall felt like it took forever to end, but when it did everything seemed to crash against her body with abundant force. The pain in her ankle seemed trivial compared to the sudden shock to her ribcage and head. X5 wasn't entirely sure, but she may have lost consciousness for a few moments, only startling to realise there was cold, dirty water invading her nose and mouth and she tried to push herself up, only to find she was too weak, and had to settle for lifting and turning her head to get out of the puddle. Drowning was not glorious at all. As she lifted her head, she spotted a pair of boots nearby, but still some distance away. She groaned and strained harder to follow the legs up, her grey eyes meeting with cold black glass. _The man from before._ She concluded, and tried again to push her body up from the ground. The girl managed to her to her knees, and then used the nearby broken wall to help herself the rest of the way to standing. If you could call her pose 'standing', anyway. 

*~*

Deacon watched her get up, his hand on his weapon, and ready to turn at any second. He should have been running for it already by now. Or even shooting her. Anything would be better than standing there gawping, like he was doing. Once the courser was standing, he noticed just how bad her injuries were. There was blood trickling down her face and hair, from scratches with short, dirty nails and bites littering her limbs. On her chest was a deep rip in the black cushioned leather, maybe from a scuffle. It was obvious from the bites, however that she'd been attacked by ghouls. And won, he was assuming, but just barely. 

He really shouldn't care what happened to her now, just let her bleed out, put her out of her misery, whatever was better. But Deacon did neither, instead he took a tentative step forward, still gripping his rifle. The courser did the same thing, one hand on the wall to steady herself, but she slipped and fell back to her knees before coughing violently and doubling over in pain. 

Somehow, seeing her like that made Deacon forget himself, forget what she was and what she could do to him. To the Railroad. But he had to help her. The bespectacled man rushed over dropping his rifle to the side and crouched by her, placing gentle but firm hands on her shoulders. 

"Hey, look at me. You're going to be okay. Can you hear me?" he looked over her wounds quickly, scanning to see if there was anything more severe that he'd missed at first glance. Thankfully there wasn't. Just bites and a crippled leg. The courser didn't respond to his question, she just grabbed at his arm with a bloodied hand and looked up at him, her eyes looked... Sad. Desperate. It hurt him to look into them, so instead he threw his arm around her waist and helped her to her feet. "Lean on me. I'll get you some place safe." 

That was easier said than done.


	3. Don't Judge a Ghoul by His Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deacon manages to get X5-99 to Goodneighbor after a few days. After Lexington, she is afraid of Hancock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm not used to writing this character yet, and even less used to writing Deacon so I'd appreciate some feedback.

It was dark by the time he'd helped the woman out of Lexington, and Deacon was still trying to figure out what to do with her. She seemed to be walking better after a Stimpak to her ankle, and she hadn't made any moves to attack him or flee, so he was hoping that he would be safe for now. 

Pulling into a decrepit house near Cambridge, he pointed to a dirty mattress in the corner. "You should rest. I'm gonna look at your wounds, okay?" he wished he could have looked sooner, but this was the first sort of safe place he'd found. The female Courser nodded obediently and sat on the brown, slightly damp mattress and set her Institute issue laser pistol on the ground, wondering once again, why she had it and why it seemed familiar. Not only to look at, but to hold and fire, too. It felt like the weapon belonged to her for a long time. X5-99 shook her head and pushed it away, so the man who'd helped her had some place to sit. 

Deacon looked at the weapon and recognised it from the Gen 1s and 2s he'd come up against in the past. It's not a fantastic weapon, but they fucking sting if you get shot with one. Sitting down beside her, he looked over the ripped parts of her leather sleeves first, checking what was closest to him. "This will have to come off, okay? I can't get to the injuries properly." to which X5 nodded, leaned forward and shrugged out of the coat, wincing at the pain in her ribs as she did so. Underneath the black leather coat was some kind of black jumpsuit, with the institute logo on the arm, barely recognisable from being ripped by Ghoul teeth. 

"So.... You're clearly a synth. What's your designation? My name is Deacon." _Shit, why did I tell her that?_ he chastised himself, before looking back at her confused face. She didn't say a word, she just looked puzzled by his own. "I can give you a new name, if you want..." he tilted his head, taking out a knife and lifting it to her jumpsuit, cutting the sleeve open to get at her wounds. She didn't even flinch, the Courser just leaned back against the ruined wall and looked up at the ceiling. 

While he cleaned her wounds with water, she didn't speak. While he applied two more stimpaks, she didn't say a word. Even when he asked if he could look at her chest wound, she just nodded and unzipped her suit without hesitating. This surprised him further. Could she not speak? Did she not care about him seeing her like that? Deacon dismissed her complacency as being tired from fighting and set about cleaning the skin on her sternum of blood and grime, and then applied a Stim to her rips, causing a wince of pain from her. "Sorry." he said softly, looking up archer face once more. 

She looked so young, so soft and innocent. Her features were round, with large steel coloured eyes to match, and the cutest cheeks he thinks he'd ever seen. Her hair was a pale brown colour, not quite dirty blonde but not yet brunette either. It hung in loose wavy locks around her face, framing it. Now that he was paying more attention, he noticed she hadn't seemed very tall when he was helping her walk before. Against his better judgment, and mostly because he was seriously curious about this runaway course, he looked down at her chest again, using the excuse he was simply zipping her suit back up to note that she was actually rather small there, too. 

Deacon's conclusion: She's either just really tiny all around, or she's a teenager. He didn't think Synths came out anything less than fully grown. Now he was all sorts of confused and intrigued. Maybe he could try getting her to talk again. "You hungry?" he sat back and reached for his bag, grabbing a can of potato chips he'd managed to swipe from the SD-mart before. X5 shook her head, then watched as he opened the food and began to eat it. She'd already said no, so how could she change her mind now? But they looked good. Considering they were scavenged. 

The Spy caught her watching and chuckled, offering her the can again. "Go in, eat some. They're not amazing, but food is food." he shook the can at her, prompting the girl to dip her hand in tentatively and pull out a few of the chips. She nibbled at them awkwardly in the corner. This courser really did seem strange to him, after all, everything he knows about them is that they are the institute's perfect killing machine. Incapable of human emotion, just built to seek and destroy. The girl beside him and shown a few basic emotions already. Fear, pleading, and now this rather adorable, if he may say so, awkward shyness of a sort. 

Once they'd finished the chips between them, he set up his sniper rifle at the window, looking out at the area. "You should sleep. I'll keep watch, so go ahead." had X5 been more in her senses, she would have probably tried to leave as soon as she was patched up, but for some reason she felt like she would be just fine of she stayed with this man, so when he told her to sleep, she slept. And she slept soundly for all of two hours, when a shot rang out, followed by snarling. All too familiar snarling, she noticed and bolted up right, snatching her laser pistol from the floor and rushing to the next window, scanning for the monstrous things. Would there be more of these things in her future? We're they going to have to fight as many as she had before? X5 was afraid, but she still instinctively took aim and began firing when the lumbering mass of ghouls started pouring out of nooks and crannies. Deacon shot several of them, himself, even switching to a 10mm for some of the ones that were getting too close for comfort. Amidst the firefight he still managed to notice the Courser's deadly accuracy. Yep, still a killing machine. 

"And here I was wanting to spend the day reading Proust. And then you have to ruin it." he called out, knowing the ferals would most likely not understand. The surprise came in the form of a bubbling giggle from his left. The courser, still not taking her eyes from her weapon sights, was smiling and had giggled. Had she seriously laughed at his weird joke? He mentally added humour to his mental list of things she was showing signs of. That was something Coursers were famous for _not_ having, so it was kinda nice to hear one laugh. Especially when she was helping him survive right now. 

*~* 

It went on like that for a few more days, they travelled, they crashed for the night and ate, tending any wounds the other had sustained. They took turns sleeping, and he even got out his copy of _Much Ado About Nothing_ and read some of it to her one night. All the while, she never spoke a single word. He would tell her some jokes, and there was about a 30% chance she'd understand and laugh that cute laugh, but the rest of the time she just looked puzzled and didn't understand what he meant. These times were met with a "Don't worry about it." from the Agent. 

It didn't even take a week to get to Goodneighbor, and he made sure she understood completely the importance of stealth as they moved around a large Park like area with a pond and a large plastic Swan boat on it. She didn't really get what was so stay about a big bird, but she crept low and slowly behind him until they passed the subway station on the other side. A few ghouls and some rather hideous, bulky mutants later, the two of them arrived in Goodneighbor. "I know a few people here who can help you with this whole wandering business, key?" he told her as he pushed open the door, holding it like a gentleman. 

X5-99 stepped into the town and blinked at the bright neon signs, taking a second to adjust. When she did, the first thing she noticed was one of those monsters, the Ghouls as Deacon called them walking toward them with a smirk on his face. The girl froze, hand on her weapon. She visibly trembled, even though they fought three more groups of them together, X5 still feared these creatures, and even had a nightmare about them the night after taking up with Deacon. Now here stood one dressed in the most unusual clothes she'd ever seen, and not trying to rip her face off. Not that it mattered, she still upholstered her laser pistol, but before she could aim it, Deacon put his hand in front of the barrel. "Not that one, he's not feral." 

At this, the Ghoul let a gravelish laugh bubble in his throat and smirked more, nodding at her. "Dontcha know, sugar? You can't judge a ghoul by his skin."


	4. Should Stick with Soda.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock gets a soft spot for the tiny courser and let's her lay low in Goodneighbor for a few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very confident in my writing of canon characters yet so any feed in Deacon and Hancock would be appreciated.

He was used to people fearing him, especially outsiders to his little slice of post-apocalyptic heaven. It wasn't every day someone aimed a gun at him at his own gates, so he was a little taken aback when he was presented with the barrel of a laser pistol, but when his mysterious railroad acquaintance stepped up and made the girl lower he weapon, he smirked, mental noting to thank the guy with a drink later. 

"Dontcha know, sugar? You can't judge a ghoul by his skin." He told her, twisting the old book by its cover phrase to suit him. She didn't seem amused, in fact she was still trembling a bit. The Mayor sighed and put his arms out to the sides, palms up in a gesture of faith. "Look, Doll, I ain't gonna hurt ya. So just relax a little, yeah?" 

"I told you, he's a good guy." Deacon turned to look at her, before shaking his head and gently taking the weapon from her hands and stepping in front of the girl to look at her face. "You're safe with me." and although X5 could not see her saviour's eyes, his smile seemed genuine, and she nodded still not speaking. "Good girl. Now c'mon, I need a drink. Do you drink?" he asked, steering her around Hancock toward the town's only bar The Third Rail. He mouth a 'sorry' to Hancock as they passed him and the Ghoul simply winked back.

As the two of them walked, Deacon felt X5 grab his sleeve and shrink up to his side, staring at some ghoul drifters on the other side of the town, near a barrel fire. He knew she wasn't a fan of Ferals, from the way she killed them before they could get close, but he didn't realise she had never seen non-ferals before today and he put his hand over the one she had gripping his shirt and he squeezed it gently. "I said I'd protect you, didn't I? The Ghouls here aren't super friendly, but they sure as he'll won't kill us. We're good here." he reassured her, as they stepped into the Rail. 

Ham tipped his hat to Deacon as they entered, and he looked over to his courser companion, who was eyeing the Ghoul bouncer with caution. "Hey, Ham. Do me a favor?" Deacon asked him. 

"Whitechapel already told you, no tabs. No handouts." he said without missing a beat. 

"Nah, nah. Nothing like that. I've got caps. But my friend here... She's never seen a ghoul that ain't feral yet. Help me show her you guys are cool?" 

The man in the tuxedo looked at Deacon as if he was out of his mind, but he shrugged and offered her his hand. "We're nice guys here, doll. Just a bit less pretty to look at. But we don't bite like those lot." he offered a gentle smile to go along with the shake of her nervous hand. Hancock always told him to be a gentleman until shit got started. 

X5 listened to him with caution, but put her hand out shyly and took his in a timid handshake, feeling how much larger his hand was, and that the texture of his ruined skin wasn't even that strange. Just like leather, she noticed. With a curt nod, she took back her hand and returned it to Deacon's sleeve. This made him smile. "C'mon, let's get that drink. Thanks Ham." he tossed the bouncer some caps as they descended into the sound of soothing Jazz music and idle chatter. 

There weren't many patrons yet, seeing as it was still early evening. Deacon guided X5 over to the counter and told her to sit on the bar stool, which she had a little trouble with. There was no rail around the base for her to step up with, so she had to hop up just to get herself in the seat. The Spy thought that was hilarious and adorable at the same time. He'd never seen anyone do that. Whitechapel Charlie carried on wiping a glass with an almost clean rag, turning his nearest eye stalk to them before piping up. "The beer still tastes the same. Like shit. What you 'aving?" X5's face made a puzzled expression at two things; the Mr Handy's very obviously non-American accent, and the fact that he referred to the taste of something. As far as she was aware, robots couldn't taste anything. 

"I'll take a Nuka Cola for the kid," Deacon said, nodding towards his friend, "Aaaaand... I'll have... Hmm." The man rubbed an imaginary beard and pondered, before turning to X5 "What should I drink?" he asked, but if course she didn't respond with words, just a shrug of her slender shoulders. "Screw it. Beer it is." 

The robot bartender turned to get their drinks with his claw hands and placed them on the counter. "Nothing watered down." he lied blatantly. X5's steel eyes looked over the two bottles, both brown, but one looking much less dirty than the other. She knew what a beer bottle looked like, and had seen Nuka Cola posters before, so there was no way her next action was an innocent mistake, but simply because Deacon had called her a kid. She reached out a gloved hand and plucked the beer from the bar and swigged it before anyone could stop her. 

The older man just stared as she took a drink of his beer, surprised and confused. "Uh... That's not.. Yours." he managed to say as she put it back and took the Cola to herself. Something about the little turn of her lips told him she knew exactly what she had done and why. But he still laughed when she pulled a face as the taste of the beer on her tongue. "You should stick with soda." he continued laughing as he kept his beer on the other side of him from where she sat in case she tried to swipe it again.


	5. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock decides to be hospitable. X5 feels her body isn't very nice. Deacon's on the edge about to fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rushed. Sorry I've been putting it off.

Deacon and X5 drank a few more rounds, the spy having moved from cheap beer to cheap whiskey toward the end of the evening. The synth girl only had two bottles of Nuka Cola, which she drank slowly while she listened to the music in the bar and the stories Deacon had to tell about his adventures around the Commonwealth and a place called the Capital. After leaving, the two headed over to the Rexford, only to find that Claire had rented all the rooms available already. X5 frowned, looking back toward the door. She didn't like the idea of sleeping on the ground outside. Sure, in the few days she'd been with Deacon they'd slept on dirty mattresses and sleeping bags wherever they could, but there had been some form of shelter, and then taken shifts to watch over each other. This town didn't feel safe to her, but that might have something to do with the Ghouls everywhere making her uncomfortable. 

Deacon sighed and took the Courser's hand, leading her out. "Don't worry, I'll figure something out." he told her, faking a smile in her direction. X5 believed him and nodded silently. After looking around both the main areas and the back alleys, the pair could not find anywhere to lay their heads for the night. Feeling defeated, they sat on the ground outside the State House so that Deacon could address the dressings on X5's still healing Ghoul wounds. He didn't feel entirely comfortable about exposing her skin to the residents and drifters of Goodneighbor, but they needed checking. Just as she began unzipping her jumpsuit for him, the door opened and a pair if boots appeared beside them. 

"What's this I hear about our newest guest sleeping rough on my doorstep?" Hancock's grating voice spoke down at them before he realised what was happening. "Deacon, not in the street, man." he teased, pulling his tricorn over his eyes. 

"What?" The man looked up at Hancock, before looking back down at his companion's almost exposed chest and quickly zipping her back up. "That's not it, she wounded, you pervert!" he defended. 

"Sure, man. I came out here to tell you, that as the loving and benevolent Mayor of this town, there's always room in the House for those without a bed. And that means you two." he winked down at them, offering a hand to help either if them up, and he was surprised when the synth girl took his hand and pulled herself up. Deacon was also rather shocked. "Wow Kitten, you're brave." 

"Kitten?" a ghoulish brow rose at the nickname 

"Yeah... Shut up. She rescued a cat yesterday and it just stuck around." the Spy explained, ignoring Hancock's teasing laugh. 

"Whatever, just get your butts in here, out of the cold."

*~*

As X5-99 looked down at the slightly steaming water, she realised just how grimy she felt and how badly her muscles ached from the journey. She still couldn't remember how she ended up in that parking lot, surrounded by ghouls. Infact, she couldn't remember anything before that day. Well, nothing beyond the nightmare she'd had every night for the last four nights. 

_White. Everything was blindingly white, the floors, the walls, everything. There were men in bright white, spotless coats. White weapons, white beds and clothes. Everywhere she looked, the cleanliness of it all hurt her eyes._

_And then black. Darkness. She was cold, and she couldn't move. X5-99 tried to move her arms out, only to find them restrained, her legs too. When she tried to speak she couldn't open her mouth, like something tight was pressing down on her lips. It squeezed down around her wrists and ankles, too. So tight that it hurt. When she finally managed to open her eyes, there was a man leaning over her with some sharp tool, and his seedy voice whispered "It's okay, well fix you this time."_

Sometimes it was a little different, but that part was always the same. And each night she could see more of the man's face, and she swore she could _feel_ the tool cutting into her neck, this was usually when she woke up crying, shaking and on the verge of a panic attack. It was then that Deacon would pull her into his arms and hold her close, his hands stroking her hair and back, making soft bushing sounds. The only anchor was his voice telling her she was safe. 

"Ring this bell when you're done bathing. There are towels on the table there, and I'm gonna get you some clothes from Daisy's." the Ghoul Mayor interrupted her thoughts as he set down a hotel bell nearby to the door of the makeshift bathroom. "Deacon will be in the next room so don't worry, kid." he reassured the synth. "Enjoy your bath."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I'm not very good at Hancock yet


	6. Look Before You Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continued night at Hancock's place. Deke briefly gets the wrong idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halp me

Once the door was closed behind Hancock, X5 wasted no time in stripping from her black jumpsuit. There was a cracked mirror in the room with her, and she stopped to look at her form, clad only in panties and socks. She had a short, slender frame, with thin hips and almost no breasts to speak of. The mousey girl turned to the side to examine her body further. She hadn't gotten much chance to look at herself before. We're most people this thin? Not so thin that she could see her ribs or anything, but she didn't feel very 'full' in any way. When she stood with her legs together they didn't touch at the thigh, and there were some older looking scars on her. Looking up from the reflections lower half to her face, X5 was greeted with a large crack, distorting her reflection. It matched how she felt inside. She had no clue who she was, what name had her parents given her? Did she even have parents? 

Questions swam through her Synthetic mind as she finished undressing and sank into the warm, soothing water. It definitely made her aching joints and tired muscles start to feel better, but that didn't help the millions of existential questions bombarding her brain by the second. In an attempt to block out the thought clouding her, X5 sank into the water entirely, feeling it fill her nose and loosen the dried dirt and blood from her bites. She laid there for a moment until she remembered something important. 

Breathing. 

With a gasp and a loud splash, the girl sat bolt upright in the rub. Soon she could heard Deacon stumbling over and knocking on the door. "Are you okay? What happened?" he called in from the other side, but X5 still didn't know how to form words to communicate with her like she wanted to. She didn't even know what her own voice sounded like. Instead, she reached over and opened the door a crack so her could see that she was okay. Looking like a drowned mole rat, but okay. 

"Jesus, Kitten. I don't need to see you naked!" Deacon exclaimed, covering his sunglasses with one hand, but grinning all the same. He'd seen most of her already when dressing her wounds. She didn't seem to care what he saw of her. She hadnt shown an ounce of shame or embarrassment abiut undressing before him either. Maybe it was a synth thing. Maybe she was just used ti being poked at by those white coat men that it felt normal for her. 

"Did Hancock leave you soap? Be careful you don't get it in any open skin, like that deep one on your shoulder." he advised, before attempting to close the door on her once more. X5 reached out and grabbed the handle, stopping him. She then offered Deacon said bar of soap. 

His face turned a bit pink when he twigged what she was asking. "You want me to.... Wash you?" she nodded, giving him that adorable smile he liked. With a deep sigh, a shake of his head and a mumble about her being the death of him, Deacon stepped into the room fully. 

X5 closed her eyes and visibly relaxed as the agent gently scrubbed at her dirty skin with the soap and a scavenged washcloth. He even massaged her neck and shoulders a little, but stopped when she made a sound akin to a moan. Instead, he decided it would be safer just to wash her hair. The wig wearing man tried his hardest to keep his eyes on her hair, face or shoulders, but like all men, he couldn't help but glance at the pale girl's legs and stomach area as he worked. Thankfully she had drapped one arm across her chest and the other in her lap. At least he didn't have to worry about seeing _that_ much of her. 

Once he deemed her clean enough, the spy grabbed a towel and held it out like one of those red capes people used to torment those old world bulls. When X5 stepped into the fabric, he wrapped it around her, before letting her tuck one corner into itself to hold the towel in place around her chest. "Hancock should be back with a change of clothes. We can have you walk into my Home Base dressed like a Synthetic Killing Machine. 

She was still puzzled by some of his terms, like Synth and Institute, but he would explain I due time, right? As they walked out of the bathroom, X5-99 realised they stood in a rather spacious bedroom, with a double bed in the middle, complete with sheets and pillows. And the best part? They weren't white! She felt herself smiling, but that's when she saw the Ghoul sitting on a nearby sofa. Her shoulders tensed up again, still not entirely comfortable with him. Sure, he was being nice to her, but something was _off_

*~*

Around midnight, when she was dressed in a large flannel shirt and some blue jeans, Deacon told her their host was generous enough to let her have his bed, while he would take the couch. Deacon insisted on using the floor, but X5 had a better idea. She grabbed her friend by his sleeve and took him to the bed, making him sit. This brought the pinkness back to his cheeks and he stammered aimlessly. "Uhhh... Kitten?" he asked her finally, but she simply grabbed a book from the shelf she'd seen and handed it to him before getting under the covers. The Spy breathed a sigh if relief, she just wanted him to read to her. He looked at the book and chuckled. He woukd definitely tease Hancock about owning a copy of Little Women. But for now, the two of them curled up in the bed to read, with her hugging his arm for some comfort, and him smiling down at her when she finally fell asleep. 

Deacon placed a soft kiss to her hair before settling down himself. "Yeah, you're gonna be the death of me, Kitten."


	7. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doctor Amari delves deep inside X5's memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I wasn't entirely happy with the last chapter, I feel like I missed something so I didn't wanna write this one yet but I pulled my head out of my butt because a friend wanted the update.

When X5 woke the next morning, she turned to find herself alone in the large bed, a glass of water and a sponge-looking food item on a plate on the nightstand. Sitting up, X5 looked around for Deacon, slightly panicked by his absence, but when he gaze settled on the sight of a familiar white shirt and black hair passing the doorway to the balcony, she sighed and went to him.

The agent stood in the early morning air, leaning on the railing as he talked idly with the Ghoul Mayor, thw two of them smoking cigarettes. X5 stopped to listen to their conversation. 

"So, what? She's one of your Synths? Never see you runnin' em through here before. I thought your game was creepy shadow stalking." the Ghoul's husky voice chuckled. 

"Nah, I'm not _technically_ running her. Station doesn't even know about this one. Boss is gonna be real mad when I bring her in unannounced." Deacon's response sounded heavy with worry. The courser stilled herself watching as he moved around, pacing. The agent then flicked his cigarette butt into the street with a sigh. Then X moved from the shadows and wrapped his arms around Deacon's waist, pressing her face into his back. "Oh! Heh, you snuck up on me there, Kitten. Impressive." he chuckled and patted one of her hands. "Sleep well?" she nodded, then let go of him and stretched, yawning.

Pottering back to the bed, X5 looked at the water and cake bar one more time, then startled when Deacon's laughter cut the air. "It's for you, Kitten. Happy breakfast or whatever." he chuckled and followed her, sitting on the edge of the mattress. X took the spongey item and gave it a timid squish, watching some cream ooze out. It smelled tasty, and looked pretty edible too, so she took a bite. When her steel eyes lit up, Deacon laughed again. "Good, right?" to this she nodded, a smile forming on her lips. X5-99 quickly polished off the cake. Whatever it was, it tasted great. Like a little squishy piece of heaven with a creamy centre made of Angel tears or something.

*~*

After getting dressed and choking down a cup of Hancock's so-called 'coffee', Deacon and X5 headed into a building called The Memory Den, but old pin-up and burlesque style posters peeling off the walls made he think it had been repurposed from something else. Inside the main room sat some weird looking pod things with TV screens and comfy lounge chairs under glass domes. X5 kept herself close to Deacon as they approached a woman wearing some strange feathery red garment lounging on a faded chaise. 

"Well hello there, dearie~!" she cooed, gesturing to them. "It's good to see you again! Terribly sorry, you'll have to remind me your name." she spoke in a sweet voice, speaking to Deacon like they'd met a few times.

"Oh, Irma, it's Joseph. Remember? I come in every third Thursday." he reminded her, earning a puzzled look from X5 but he waved it off. "I'll explain later, Kitten." he whispered to her. "But it's not for me today. Need to see Amari about an S.Y.N.T.H." He spelled out in a hushed voice and Irma said no more, simply waving her hand towards a door behind her at the back of the room. 

As they descended the stairs, Deacon spoke softly. "Listen, Kitten. We don't have to do this if you don't want. But she might find some answers for you." Kitten nodded and followed him into a brightly lit room with a woman inside. When X5 saw the pure white lab coat she froze and her hand hovered over her laser rifle, shaking timidly. 

The scientist turned around. "Mister Deacon? You've brought me a syn--!" she started speaking in a calm manner, until she spotted X5-99's gun, at that moment she also froze. Deacon looked between them to determine why she had stopped so abruptly and frowned.

"Kitten, no! She's one of the good guys!" he scolded, taking the weapon from her with a quick swiping motion before he hugged her, arms around her shoulders to keep her arms by her sides. "You can't aim a gun at everyone we meet. Don't you trust me?" 

She slumped, sighing in defeat. She knew he was right, her paranoia wasn't healthy. When she nodded, Deacon let go of her. "Good. Sorry, Doctor Amari. She did it to Hancock as well... Kid's pretty spooked. Was hoping we could find out why?"

"I'm not a therapist, I'm a neuroscientist." Amari sighed. "The most I can do is look into her memories. It might not give you any helpful insight, and as I've told your people before, there's a Ninety-nine point nine-nine per cent chance that any and all institute information has been erased or heavily locked away." the Doctor spoke, and Deacon nodded. 

"I know that, but the thing is... Well, she's different. Can we just take a look, Amari?" he asked her, holding Kitten's hand. The Doctor sighed again and nodded. "Fine. Please lie down in this lounger and relax. Focus on a memory. Any memory, just make it a strong one." she instructed.

X5-99 did as she was told, laying down in the faded red chair. Her slender fingers flexed over the arms as thw glass dome closed around her and the TV was set in front of her eyes. She felt a sharp scratch at the back if her neck and the static on the TV started dancing around before settling on an image. 

"Mnemonics stabilising. Brainwaves stable. We've got an image. Agent Deacon, you should watch this." Amari's voice drifted away in the background as Kitten's memory unfolded in her mind. 

_Snow. Snow was drifting down around her, cold and familiar. The flakes danced to the ground in a sweeping flurry. Looking up at the sky she could see grey-white clouds for miles in every direction, the gentle snow falling down and tickling her face with their cold drops. She glanced down at her hands, watching as the white flakes landed on red gloves and melted to nothing. Some of them stayed, coating her hands and the fluffy cuffs of her coat in a thin layer of white. She could deal herself smiling, but glazing upward once more she found the snow filled air turning to white walls, forming solid around her, blocking all directions. The snowfall slowed and the walls slammed into place, tiles locking together. Panic set in. Heavy breathing, a tight pain in her chest. What was going on?_

_"Easy, X5. It's alright, we're just going to do some little tests. It won't hurt." A man's voice hushed from seemingly nowhere and everywhere. The gloves were gone when she looked to her hands. The fluff on her coat cuffs replaced by a pale green gown, the kind used in hospitals. And what was sticking out of her arm? An IV? Why? She tried to scream but nothing came out._

"Heart rate rising, blood pressure spiking. I have to pull her out." Amari spoke in the back of X5's mind. Her voice slowly getting clearer as the lab faded away, the walls crumbling, the gown falling down to her feet. The man's voice replaced by a gentle soothing sound "Shh, Easy Kitten. Just breathe..." Deacon's calming tone eased her, she felt herself slowly relaxing and the pod above her opened, letting on a whoosh of air. 

"Well, that wasn't particularly helpful." Amari stated. "How do you feel... X5, did he say?" she asked, looking to the courser with concern. She shrugged her shoulders and looked to Deacon, hoping he had an answer. 

"Sorry, Kitten. We can try again later, if you're up for it. Look like it was too stressful today. Let's get you somewhere safe. Yeah?" The Spy offered her a hand, which she took and used to pull herself out of the lounger. X5 turned to Amari and gave a nod, with a thankful smile. 

"Alright. Just rest for now, and we'll try again another time." and with that, the two of them left for the Railroad.


End file.
